Updated with the Kid's chore schedules.

automation/Speech/chores.yaml

@@ -1,5 +1,5 @@
 ######################################################################
-##  Some home facts when we get back home from being away.
+##  Who's day is it anyway? Pretty sure my parent's didn't code to figure this out.
 ######################################################################
 - alias: 'chores'
 
@@ -17,8 +17,14 @@
     - service: script.Voice_notify
       data_template:
         value1: >
-          "{% if now().strftime("%j")|int % 2 == 0 %}
-          Today is Justin's day to do chores.
-          {% else %}
-          Today is Paige's day to do chores.
-          {%endif%}"
+          {%- macro chore_schedule() -%}
+            {%if now().strftime("%a") == 'Wed' or now().strftime("%a") == 'Sun'%}
+              Today is {{now().strftime("%A")}} and {{now().strftime("%A")}} is garbage day.
+            {%endif%}
+            {% if now().strftime("%j")|int % 2 != 0 %}
+              Today is Justin's day to do the chores.
+            {% else %}
+              Today is Paige's day to do the chores.
+            {%endif%}
+          {%- endmacro -%}
+          "{{chore_schedule()}}"

automation/Speech/home_news.yaml

@@ -19,14 +19,22 @@
   action:
     - service: input_boolean.turn_off
       entity_id: input_boolean.home_news
-      
+
     - service: script.Voice_notify
       data_template:
         value1: >
           "Welcome Home Costanzo Family. Here is what's going on around the house right now:
-          {%if now().strftime("%a") == 'Wed' or now().strftime("%a") == 'Sun'%}
-            Today is {{now().strftime("%A")}} and {{now().strftime("%A")}} is garbage day.  Please be sure to tell the kids to take out the trash.
-          {%endif%}
+          {%- macro chore_schedule() -%}
+            {%if now().strftime("%a") == 'Wed' or now().strftime("%a") == 'Sun'%}
+              Today is {{now().strftime("%A")}} and {{now().strftime("%A")}} is garbage day.
+            {%endif%}
+            {% if now().strftime("%j")|int % 2 != 0 %}
+              Today is Justin's day to do the chores.
+            {% else %}
+              Today is Paige's day to do the chores.
+            {%endif%}
+          {%- endmacro -%}
+          {{chore_schedule()}}
           Inside the house, it is {{ states.climate.downstairs.attributes["current_temperature"]}} degrees with around {{states('sensor.downstairs_thermostat_humidity')}} percent humidity. Outside, it is going to be {{states('sensor.dark_sky_minutely_summary')}}
           {% if is_state('cover.garadget_large', 'open') -%}
             Also, The Large Garage Door is still open